Are Your “Emotional Band-Aids” Keeping You From Deeper Healing?
This idea of “emotional band-aids” is born out of a few client conversations that I’ve had recently, and my clients have graciously allowed me to share some of these ideas with you:
When we get a cut, it makes sense that we would put a band-aid on it as a way to keep it clean and help it heal. Similarly, when we are experiencing an emotion that is “negative” or painful, it makes sense that we would want to respond in some way.
Sometimes, that response comes in the form of self-talk. For example, if you’re thinking, “I feel guilty for eating this food.” You might respond by saying, “But at least I’m eating regularly.” Or if you’re thinking, “I feel bad for eating this amount of food.” You might respond by saying, “But at least most of it is healthy.”
Food can also sometimes act as an “emotional band-aid,” or what is more commonly known as “emotional eating.” When a person feels stressed, bored, etc, they might use food as a way to soothe their emotions, calm their nerves, and perhaps “chew on” their problems.
BAND-AIDS ARE NOT A BAD THING. Just as a physical band-aid is enough to heal a cut in a lot of cases, an emotional band-aid can be adequate in many cases as well. However, just as you wouldn’t keep your band-aid on for days without changing it, an emotional band-aid might be covering something up that requires more or different attention.
Going back to the self-talk example, my client noticed that she was using the phrase “at least” to cover the guilt that she felt around her food choices, which was keeping her from critically examining why she was feeling guilty in the first place.
In the emotional eating example, it can be helpful to explore what emotion the food is soothing, and whether there might be different ways to address it.